How to Incorporate Gratitude into Your Everyday Life and Why You Should
Have you ever had it happen where a certain thought comes at you from multiple resources and you know God is trying to send you a message? As I’ve been growing towards becoming more complete, whole and thriving, I arrived at this point where I felt I was blocked from going any further until I took what I knew the next step to move forward was: making a practice of gratitude. The thought had been gently nudging on my mind for a while, It had been sort of an open tab in my brain, and I knew I needed to ponder it and practice it and see where it would take me. If you would have asked me, then, I would have thought that I was fairly grateful already!
Gratitude caught my attention because it kept popping up through different people and places. Are a few. The first that was responsible for my pondering gratitude so seriously was Dave Ramsey. I thought the sources in itself was thought-provoking in itself. It would be natural to think a multimillionaire doesn’t need to spend a lot of time in gratitude because they already have pretty much anything they could ask for. As I’ve enjoyed listening to some of his content over the past couple of days (he has a calming way of talking about the coronavirus that also makes me laugh because he’s such a character) I noticed he has a theme of gratitude and contentment. He repeats, “Gratitude is very attractive”, and “Contentment is a key thing in people who build wealth” as well as “Gratitude is a precursor to wealth. You can tell someone will become wealthy if they are grateful. It’s highly attractive.” Very interesting! Another resource is a Maya Angelou quote I enjoy in which she says: "This a wonderful day. I've never seen this one before!” I’d like to be in the habit of taking on this outlook every day! Another thought floating in my mind is someone - I wish I could remember who (maybe Brendan Burchard) telling the story of a guy who would always say when asked how he was in the grocery queue or anywhere “it’s the best day of my life!” I thought this was such an interesting answer and I’ve pondered it ever since.
It was a normal ole day the other day and I was on a walk like I usually do in the afternoon to get fresh air and come back to my desk feeling rejuvenated and ready to be productive. Usually, I listen to a podcast or youtube to learn or be entertained on my walks but this time I decided to be completely present in the moment; to feel the cool air in my nostrils, the hot blood pumping through my body, hear the birds singing and enjoy spring springing! When I got space in my mind, once again it popped into my head….e” practice gratitude”, a little voice whispered.
I started simply thanking God for all the things that came into my mind - some of them were deep and some of them were odd. “Thank you for my healthy legs and my cozy little cottage I have waiting for me with a boiling pot of water on the stove for blanched green beans and the cute little peak at the top of that garden shed because it brings me joy and my husband who makes me laugh and works so hard and my green eyes and my old red striped top I was wearing (Mr. Bryant always says “I found Waldo!” when I wear it).
I was uncomfortably surprised to find as I walked along to the song of gratitude that it was a strange and unfamiliar territory. That startled me a little. I realized that I hardly ever spend this much time intentionally being grateful. It was a bad feeling, but also a hopeful feeling. That little voice just kept saying that gratitude and contentment that this heart state is the beginning of good things is the beginning of abundance. I knew that if I began to make a practice of gratitude and spend time in that place each day it would open the door to a very scrumptious life. The beauty of gratitude is that it in itself is a gift - just feeling grateful and content is scrumptious! Mindy Kaling said it perfectly - “Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion.” I felt compelled by the desire to invite gratitude into my life regularly and see where it would take me. I want to know that spending time gratitude is a familiar place that I often hang out in mentally. A place I am at home in, a place I’m in the habit of going to.
I started feeling so excited about this new possibility! Even as I did, the little old nagging thoughts - yearning for things in an unhealthy nearly obsessive way started to pull me in. It’s a state that is old and stale and all too familiar to me, one that I have been almost completely successful at kicking but in these vulnerable moments, they offer themselves once again like a siren song. I could literally feel the demon of my past suggesting the thoughts to me - thoughts it knows would restrain me from being able to thrive and be satisfied and happy! I can feel the spiritual battle in my mind. Almost every day I am reminded of the simple and seemingly benign tactics “Screwtape” would use to keep the “patient” (in C.S.Lewis’ brilliant “Screwtape Letters”) from true happiness and wholeness in his Creator. I know from practice how to cut those thoughts right off and say “no” like I mean it. There’s no way in hell I would allow them to steal the wonderful sensation I was stepping into. I chose to allow the warm, pleasant, sensations of gratitude and contentment wash over me.
Even as I did, I had a new sensation. As I wondered pleasantly through my thoughts of things I was grateful for, I realized I felt a sense of doom and approaching tragedy. This was a curious thing. I know I am working through the belief “bad things will always happen to me” and uprooting it from self-destruction in my life, but I didn’t expect a symptom to pop up in a practice of gratitude. I realized that, to me, being grateful feels like and ending, like something bad is coming. It struck me that the reason why is because usually, people express gratitude after something is gone. As Joni Mitchell in the song, Big Yellow Taxi said: “You don't know what you got till it's gone”. Often when people choose to write about what they are grateful for it’s in the perspective of the rearview mirror that they realize how good it all was. A move, a foreclosure, a death, a breakup, whatever the bad news, it takes a change to wake us up to the beauty we lived in…once it’s past tense. Only then do they take the time to look back and appreciate what was. This is not true across the board, but it did account for my strange feeling of foreboding when I began my practice of gratitude.
A breathtaking idea formed in my mind. Imagine if I was the woman who really truly deeply enjoyed, experienced, and savored the magic of the life I’m living as I’m actually living it? It almost seems revolutionary. It’s simple but challenging. I felt the desire rise in me to be known as the woman who is wildly, scrumptiously in love with being alive! I’m alive, aliVE, ALIVE! Deliciously, wonderfully alive. Spending time in the space of gratitude is the very way to enter fully, lusciously, pleasurably into the present moment! Now that is magic. Loving where you are is such a better feeling than wishing you had what you think will make you happy. Of course, I know from experience that once you’ve acquired it, the yearning for the next thing nags on you and the cycle of satisfied continues.
That was it. I was taken by the idea. I’ve decided to make my afternoon walk a “walk of gratitude”. I’m very much looking forward to it, actually. I keep them short and simple, just 10 minutes or so will do. I like to breathe deeply as I do it, too. If I don’t get to do it one day, I’ll take a deep breath, give myself grace, and be grateful that I normally do get to. I’m ecstatic to start this new idea! I’ve known about all the evidence for the benefits of gratitude from science and all the successful people who credit it for their good lives, but now that I’m making it my own- a daily ritual - it’s really exciting! After doing it just a few days, it has dramatically affected my mood and productivity which is pretty exciting for me! I can’t wait to see what an impact it will have on me a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, a lifetime from now when I am 80 and am looking back on my beautiful life. Imagine a whole lifetime of gratitude walks? I wonder what a difference it will make? I’ll report back as the days march on. Maybe you’re inspired to join me… I’d love that! Wouldn’t it be fun if women around the world started dedicating a tiny party of their day to a gratitude walk, knowing we were all in this together, no matter what we were going through, knowing each other is gratitude walking to? I love to imagine how that might impact many lives!
There’s a vast difference between knowing logically that something is true versus actually taking it on as your own belief and when you do, suddenly, the world is wonderfully transformed before your eyes as your paradigm shifts and you make this very ancient truth your very own!
We’ve all heard so much about gratitude for so long that it feels so normal and boring and is talked about so much and all we hear is blah blah blah. Sometimes it can get a little bumper stickery out there! It’s an “Ok great, one more thing on my to-do list, one more thing I know I should be doing and I’m falling short of”. Gratitude shouldn’t be a burden or a chore. It should be a place we rest in because it truly brings us joy! We do it because it’s fun, and life-giving, it’s magical! And if we start with that, we will also be magically benefited from being able to accomplish our real to-do list with zest and energy! We’ll float through our day feeling a little better about ourselves, a little less like we are falling short, and just like ourselves and others a little more. When we see it as a burden to bear, we are blind to the beauty of it. As long as we are blind it will never bear fruit and bring new life into our lives. Like Ronald Dahl said “above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.” Gratitude is everyday magic. We have to choose desire and believe in it in order for the miracle of it to be revealed to us!
Imagine if a faerie godmother appeared to you and said “I’m going to bestow on you a tremendously potent and powerful gift which you can use anytime, anywhere, for the rest of your life! The more you use it, the longer you use it, the more powerful it will become. If you choose to use it, it will bring you health, wealth, and happiness. Steward it well, and abundance will come to you naturally”. Would you accept the gift! Would you use it often? We can take the gift if we choose, it is available to us! The gift, of course, is gratitude. Here are a few of the benefits of gratitude:
1. Gratitude makes us happier.
2. Gratitude makes people like us.
3. Gratitude makes us healthier.
4. Gratitude boosts our career.
5. Gratitude strengthens our positive emotions.
6. Gratitude develops our personality.
7. Gratitude makes us more optimistic.
8. Gratitude reduces materialism.
9. Gratitude increases spiritualism.
10. Gratitude makes us less self-centered.
11. Gratitude increases self-esteem.
12. Gratitude improves your sleep.
13. Gratitude keeps you away from the doctor.
14. Gratitude lets you live longer.
15. Gratitude increases your energy levels.
16. Gratitude makes you more likely to exercise.
17. Gratitude helps us bounce back.
18. Gratitude makes us feel good.
19. Gratitude makes our memories happier.
20. Gratitude reduces feelings of envy.
21. Gratitude helps us relax.
22. Gratitude makes you friendlier.
23. Gratitude helps your marriage.
24. Gratitude makes you look good.
25. Gratitude helps you make friends.
26. Gratitude deepens friendships.
27. Gratitude makes you a more effective manager.
28. Gratitude helps you network.
29. Gratitude increases your goal achievement.
30. Gratitude improves your decision making.
31. Gratitude increases your productivity
(List taken from here to find out the reasons behind the benefits of gratitude!) or check out this shorter list!
Gratitude is pretty hard-working, as you can see! Potent indeed! God is the OG and also real faerie godmother who truly has bestowed a gift upon us. We don’t even have to make-believe, it’s just reality - everyday magic! Knowing how much good it does for us is probably why He recommends it so highly for us in the bible. He also has instructed us to live into gratitude through rituals that are apart of daily and community life, such as giving thanks before eating and spending time in worship!
A thought came to me on my walk which made my mind do a little somersault. How do you have the life you want? You begin to be grateful for the life you have right now! Not only does gratitude make you happier and more content with the life your in, but also it is like magical fertilizer for growing and attracting an even more abundant life in the very near and very far future. Before you are ready to accept an even more abundant life, you must first learn to steward the life you have well. Existing in the space of gratitude opens up to marvelous possibilities. It can’t help but bring even more goodness into our lives.
Remember that gratitude is a skill built over time. It starts slow and gets stronger. The longer you do it, the happier it makes you!
Do you have a practice of gratitude? Do you believe in it? How has it benefited you? How long have you done it? I’d love to know and be encouraged by your experience, so tell me below!
Loads of love!
Juliet Bryant
* It should be noted that gratitude and contentment are completely different than complacency or just plain ole giving up on life! That’s not what I’m advocating for AT ALL! It could be tempting to try to just accept what one has because even though they’d like a better life for themselves, they don’t see how they could ever have it. So they just give up. Or worse, hope someone else will do it for them. Giving up kills creativity, whereas gratitude drives creativity. Getting out of current life situations requires a lot of thinking outside the box! When I practice gratitude, I feel renewed and refreshed and some of my best writing and ideas come at that moment. At the same time, I am spending time each day in gratitude, I am spending time asking in faith and visualizing in areas where I imagine better things for myself. It’s difficult as humans to learn to navigate different life-giving ideas that are complementary yet can feel contradictory and to learn to incorporate them into everyday rituals. For me, I pray and visualize in the morning and when I’m falling asleep at night, and in the afternoon I take my gratitude walk. I try to work hard towards my goals while also being grateful for where I am right here, right now. You can feel in your gut when you are lusting or obsessing over something in an unhealthy way…it feels like it kills brain cells. When you ask in faith and visualize and lean in towards your goals and dreams you feel rejuvenated, energized and joyful! You can spend time in the space of gratitude in the present even as you are moving towards your goals. Being human is messy and complicated and beautiful and crazy and good!
Resources:
Screwtape letters - I love this book. Thoughts from it guide me often
Here are a few verses I find to be strange and poetic and heartfelt:
15 wine that gladdens human hearts, oil to make their faces shine, and bread that sustains their hearts. 16 The trees of the LORD are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. 17 There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers. 18 The high mountains belong to the wild goats; the crags are a refuge for the hyrax. 19 He made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down. 20 You bring darkness, it becomes night, and all the beasts of the forest prowl. 21 The lions roar for their prey and seek their food from God. 22 The sun rises, and they steal away; they return and lie down in their dens. 23 Then people go out to their work, to their labor until evening. 24 How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. 25 There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number— living things both large and small. 26 There the ships go to and fro, and Leviathan, which you formed to frolic there. 27 All creatures look to you to give them their food at the proper time. 28 When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things.
PS 104.15-28
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, forever and ever!”
RV 5.13
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
PS 28:7